Monday, February 17, 2014


I wish to speak about ego. As I am seeing it all over the place even I am being called to look at it. I had this epiphany on Saturday morning in meditation and literally it was don't go to the place you know you can go just because your ego pushes you to. Metaphorically this can mean a ton of different things to you. I will explain all this further. The reason why I am writing it now (as I was not going to write on this topic other than just journal) but I read my horoscope which I will share with you.

This concept of not sticking with something, it's so easy to just fall into ignorance to just write it off. It's what many do often if it's out of my life I no longer have to deal with it. However the growth and expansion does not happen this way. Recently I was faced with a truth, although hiding from it is just walking away basically saying I give up is not facing it. I used this exact word "elephant" to describe it even before this horoscope even came out. So for me this has been a sign from the Universe. That just because it is not in front of me I cannot ignore this. The strength comes when you realize what is hiding and what is taking space. Clearly looking to remedy the "problems" as this repair does need to happen. Out of sight and out of mind is not facing it. The brainstorming I see is through meditation but also giving usual thought. Not logic and it's not all neat sometimes the best things are messy. It's realizing that enhancing this idea is through organizing it. Everything is pointing towards having something long lasting comes with figuring out and making the changes. Making changes is just shifting not abandoning it or just walking away literally. What Mercury Retrograde in February the eleven days has pushed you to give up what you believed was in your way to your journey. The second half of this Mercury Retrograde you begin to realize and have time to look at these issues. Take the time to look. I at first was called to not face this at all to just clear my mind and this became a wake up call. Which further came to be this message of the ego.

In my chase keeping my ego in check has been not doing anything. It is so much easier to say "I don't
need to do anything that's not my problem." "I can do this" and that's all that matters. The ego comes in and pushes us it wants us to either get defensive when a problem or person comes at us and wishes us to feel attacked. For us to shut down, throw our hands up and say see ya I can't handle this. This is all of the ego to give up to walk away to trick you into thinking you are taking time to figure things out. I see this often in various different people, the ego. Sometimes it happens with all the moon energy or planets or even use with crystals. I get people contacting me about how can I do this, how can I channel, how do I work with crystals, how do I heal? And a variety of other questions energetically I feel their imbalance they are on a high of some kind and their ego takes over. It's not something one day that you just learn and master. This is not so. Yes these bursts of energy can inspire you to look deeper into these things, if this energy stays it's not of the ego. Not saying at all when you get inspired it's always of the ego. I am talking about when you get an idea run with it and then let it go to your head and when you think it gets too hard or you see something else you wish to pursue and you shut down after all this brought you joy- this is of the ego. Even ego tells you you are not good enough you shouldn't have this-

My epiphany came when I observed so many people pushing themselves and just because they knew they could do it or were told to, they did so. I personally do moving meditation not for physical benefits or getting deeper. I see many people go just for the workout or they only stick with one kind, and of course there are all kinds and nothing is wrong with sticking with just one type. However, to make the spiritual leap you have to embrace change. I got my other dose of epiphany especially when I have been meditating with the phrase move on. This too goes with moving meditation, for a long time I was stuck in one type because I knew the health benefits of it, and I felt like I had to sweat out everything to feel better or to get somewhere. After a while I knew this was of the ego, I was being pushed too hard and switching over to a variety of styles at first I did not like- this was of the ego. I recognize that now, my heart and soul was telling me to go here but my ego was saying I needed to stick with this more challenging style.

I already knew I was committed to this but I was letting fear and my ego keep me in this spot. The transformation was happening but very slowly and I knew that this is not where I wished to be. Literally within weeks of my shifting and just changing I began to notice a huge difference. I share all this because I came to realize the fear of commitment for me was through change. In order for me to fully and whole hearted commit to this I had to let go of the ego. When I did so everything came rushing in. I am speaking in terms of goals and things you wish to achieve in your spiritual journey.

I further got more channeled information when a stat was shared that out of 100 people who practice moving meditation only 1 will make the leap to making it a spiritual journey. That was quite surprising but I see it. To brag and say oh I've been doing yoga for x amount of years this is all of the ego. Someone who has been practicing for years and years may have just been going and doing the motions but are in the same head place they were before. If you still get defensive about any part of it or talk about types that you go to- this is all of the ego. You have yet to make the leap. Of course naturally I reflected about my own practice. I started sure because of physical benefits but after a while I saw more. I would always be asked what do you want to work on, most everyone will say something physical ... I never quite understood why I would almost always answer with anything. I see that I was shifting in this. I thought too am I am ego driven because I do come often I have made this a huge part of my life. But I am not of the ego I don't wish to go anywhere I just show up and where ever I am guided I go I go.

This ego check concept I of course was reflecting on, interesting and an unexpected observation came about me. A dear person said you are the only one who listens and is always calm just cruising and can smile through it all. As if to answer the question in my head of am I working with the ego? This comes with life too, because he knows all of what I have been through and this magic journey I go on literally every time I step on this magical mat. It's literally a transforming journey. I have been guided for it to be such. I share all of this not to have an ego trip at all for me. Practicing does take you places but you have to be in the right place.

Coming back to the idea of commitment even in terms of relationships it all starts with how you handle things in life. If you fear change you fear commitment. If you fall out of things often you are afraid to complete them because that will lock you in to a form of commitment through completion of where else this may take you. If you leave it you feel like you have more control and you can go off and explore on your own. This is the ego wishing to change you in the way it wants to so that it remains in control. Knowing you are committed to someone and step away needing space on your journey is a completely different thing. As I see couples doing this realizing that some of the growth needs to happen separately. I am often asked questions on how to handle this separation, seeing the greater picture helps but perhaps only one will see this. One may not understand this separation or both may. It is helpful to have a time frame giving a certain amount of separation and self healing before coming back to access where you both are. Having a timeline or accountability is extremely helpful in this. Mainly because you are then working towards something with a deadline. Of course this deadline can be extended but I have observed that this is easier to organize a plan a schedule for yourself. Such as if you wish to get a workout situated, get into healthier eating, get a new job, move to a new place- whatever it happens to be in your life you feel is chaotic that prevents you from fully being committed in a relationship having a deadline gives you something to work towards. It's creating a boundary with yourself as well because you don't just go off doing your own thing in this time which is facing your fears.

I had an out of body experience on Saturday, one minute I was sitting down in a chair when I got an intense emotional feeling. It was a calling and longing feeling I didn't see anything or feel like I went anywhere that I remember. But the pattern was very distinct and when I realized or woke up I was dizzy and standing up with my hand on a tree.

So much of this weekend I felt like constantly being in a form of walking meditation. I did come to a place where I realized how many of us of the stars have traveled. It came very simply, as I sat in the back of a room I observed forms of beings. I was there yet somewhere else.  So many messages are of the heart to open the heart. Self love brings everything you seek. All these various messages. However, us from the stars who have traveled here we all  came here with the power of the heart. The heart connects us all. We have the ability to transform this world through love which comes from the heart. So many talk of soul mates, twin flames, twin souls- the one ... yes we all traveled in pairs. As stars our love with our co-creating partner traveled together. Although one of the pair may have not come down to this lifetime with you, the message is the same the Awakening comes further from the heart, from love. So being with an open heart is the key, being able to express this and communicate this to yourself opens up everything else. Since we traveled in pairs many many pairs in this life time have come on here in this time because of all the Awakenings and shifting. I recently realized where my stubbornness truly came from obviously as the Awakening happens dealing with a situation is dealing with yourself. Since those of us Light Beings that did travel here on earth with our co-creating partner we have many similar traits in our self or in past lives their traits were our own. If you are experiencing a difficulty truly look inside yourself. Look into the remembering on how to approach this. Sure it may seem messy now but it does sort out.

Last week I had said the 17th was another day to take notice of. Here we have Mercury Retrograde very close to the Sun which is in Aquarius. Situations and things may change quite quickly. In terms of perhaps since the start of this month you thought of ways to improve, uprooted and left things, well with the Sun influence in Aquarius to all this change that went on in the past eleven days what you thought was the way to go ... decisions may be altered now. It comes however when you don't fight it. Most often than not as you have given a lot of thought and believed this was the way to go, you have had time with this- many have acted on this Mercury Retrograde energy. However, plans are getting re-routed being put back to the original idea before all this Retrograde business happened. We wish to have success and with the Mercury Retrograde energy many have been quick to act moving away from what you believed was an issue. In search of success. But what any one else things is irrelevant it is following your heart, for this is how to heal an issue. It is using the Virgo Moon which is in- conjunct with the Aquarius Sun which gives allows you to see a different side to an issue. With this energy look to a long conversation in your head to come about - all the talking, deciding, figuring, and strategy dealing with this particular situation. It is surrendering to the heart and pushing aside the ego. Pushing aside the worry or feeling not good enough. Feeling like you have to be perfect before anything can move forward. Above all it's riding yourself of the fears. Grounding yourself in home, knowing where home is. For we are of the stars we have traveled here with our heart in such to co-create with our partner. This earthly realm filled us with fear and doubt and ego. It is Awakening and uncovering where our true home is, which resides in the heart. When we are open of the heart and really feel and look into it we discover where home is. Home is our co-creation partner because we traveled here to do the work to Awaken others no separately but together. If you truly know your partner is not here on earth it is Awakening to their energy in the Ethers.

And with Universe style I received this and it so fits.