Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Death & Rebirth

There is so much change around. I am noticing that it's all in my reaction to these changes. Naturally we want to revert back to our old comforts, or even vises to escape from what we are feeling or seeing. However, I have noticed I may be feeling similar to when I did in the old but I am of the New. Everything is different and how I choose to find comfort in myself is also different. Yes it's crossed my mind of how did I get through this before, but none of those ways appeal to me anymore. I am no longer that person. If I were to revert back to the comforts of what worked before I would not be honoring my true self, I would be hiding and not wishing to move forward. Right now is the time to be more aware and mindful of change around us as this may come very subtly. We do not want to be caught up in the old vises. After a while you will also just know that these may 'work' for the purpose you choose them for but they do not serve your greater good any longer. That was how you acted before.

I have been having many many dreams since the Eclipse not all of them pleasant which

wake up with extreme anxiety. Before there always were ways I would remedy this, now I would rather sit in this feeling to not hide from it but see what is there, and the feelings are different now that I am wishing to experiencing them so they may be greeted instead of hidden away to resurface later. My facing them will give them no more power because they are able to speak their peace and then fly away. I see there is nothing to fear from this at all, it's just part of the journey we must also experience the uncomfortable and even painful. Then I recalled as a young child I always would get anxiety feelings in the fall (something frightened me about the sun pulling further away and it becoming colder) I have noticed this now that once I feel this crispness in the air the anxiety came back. Yet I have nothing to be fearful of. I enjoy this picture it was pure accident but I notice these orbs quite often when I just look up into the sky in this one particular spot which I enjoy to meditate in out in nature.

I feel a death happening within me this internal struggle, which I feel is where the anxiety is coming from. I know I am different from before and the fact that I am not giving this anxiety a hiding place in me it's wishing to speak more. At the same time, I must go through this as I learn a great deal from things that just no longer resonate with me. So if you too are feeling this or something similar where something is just bothering you let it, see where it takes you. It probably won't be comfortable but this detox needs to happen. Remember that we only have today to focus on and even more simply just in the Now. We cannot plan into the future for it is not here we have no idea what will be then. So lets stop worrying so much about plans and jobs and money and education and just focus on where we are now and be happy with this present time. Everything will work out and come to be as it should. Us worrying about it or planning won't make it be- as why we manifested for the New Moon (which you still today and tomorrow) for it's energy to create a list of what we wish to have in our life in the future- as our way of releasing these to the Universe. Also a way of letting go so that the Universe may work magic to make all these come in Divine timing, not when we want it or would like to have these things. So stop worrying if you have yet to do this Manifest I invite you to look at my previous blog about the New Moon in Scorpio which gives accounts on how to. 

I have been wishing to go out in nature a lot as part of my grounding. The next two weeks we will be changing and shifting more and I am already noticing it around me in nature. It's this death and rebirth in us. I feel symptomatically this happening within me for the past week. Which is very beautiful all at the same time. Monday morning, I felt strong energy take over which I knew was not mine but wished for me to experience it, I had a neck spasm and then a lower back pain. It was very beautiful to have this energy exchange in my sleep. So if you may wonder how is experiencing pain beautiful? It was the messages this other energy was wishing me to notice. I was being asked through the neck pain to be flexible and see what's back there. To see other sides of a question and bend to it, allow for it to come and let go of any remaining stubbornness. The lower back where it curves of course represents the inability to flow with the support of life. It's the fear of trying to hold on to old ideas because one is not trusting life leading to a lack of integrity. Instead this is to acknowledge that yes I am supported here, literally in my sleep while I was having these pains I was supported and I have courage to overcome all my convictions. I would see why exactly I was experiencing these symptoms to show that there is no longer anything to fear, as I share this life, always there supporting us freely and constantly it's our blockages that blinds us to see and even feel this. 

When I went out in nature after experiencing these energies I felt reborn literally because I allowed them to speak to me and then released them. I experienced so much beautiful energy in the air. So much beauty was around in the trees. I noticed a sign in the trees which said: "Grace" which I feel I embody now. Next while I was walking I came to many trees but one in particular drew my attention. A very tall pine tree. Which resembles a unicorn for it had one branch at the top a part from all the others. When I came closer to it, the bark I could see many different images in it. So I invite you to look and see what images you see in these pictures from my walk. I see a man figure, a heart, faces, a couple about to kiss, a bear, dog. Next time you are out for a walk see what image you may find in 'ordinary' things. I always enjoy just allowing my imagination to explore. Even looking up to the sky I noticed many different portals break from the clouds. I was able to look up at the sky so much beauty has been all around. I feel this whole calmness. 


This morning I woke up before the dawn and once again noticed so much beauty. The sky and trees are just more beautiful than before. I was called to look at a rose I noticed some dying which drew me to our own death but right next to it a new flower our rebirth is also coming to be. They are happening at the same time for many of us. Bringing my camera with me is bringing a different experience since I find more beauty than just looking through the screen of a camera phone. All the pictures in this article I have taken.

Enjoy this time of beauty and if you experience some physical pains it's you trying to release this energy. I have released and continue to do so and feel amazing. We are at the dawn of this new transformation, where it may be slightly blurry of what we will become, but we can feel the old us dying and something new in the air. I have realized personally my own fear as my angel has been coming to me in many dreams, showing me life on a parallel time if she had not died when she did, the things which my subconscious level still needs to work through. She has been guiding me through each allowing us to experience them, and once we experience them even in a different place, I am able to let go and I do each time feel peace and calm. I feel so blessed that I have my angel guiding me since I may not be aware of these small things that on some level I have held on to. Yet in dreaming I am able to address them talk them out or even act them out,
which I realize it has nothing to do with the activity itself. Some part of me feels like she left too soon, even though I understand that it was her time. Last year I received the most wonderful gift in a series of dreams each showing me in stages a different view of her death
in a very beautiful way which did allowed me to accept it on a more spiritual level. Now it's allowing me to over come my own remaining fears about death (physical and transformationally). In this time of transformation, in my life I have experienced many life times already. I understand how we must go through pain or uncomfortableness even suffering before the awe inspiring miracles come. I've experienced it too many times, which I think is why I'm less fearful now. I have been through it enough, I am almost just anxious of let me experience this fast now let me accept it now so that I may push through and get over to the other side, the beautiful blissful side. Of course I cannot push myself past this phase faster than it is to be. It will last however long it will last, but with less resistance on my end, I wish to not delay it on my end. I see how much growth even now I am experiencing with this in what else I want to do and experience once all this washes away. I have so much to share and wish to share it but I realize everyone is on their own path and you all too are experiencing this or will experience this once it is your time. It is really beautiful once you just allow it to come into you and experience all the not so pleasant to then truly appreciate the bliss that is.

Yesterday I was speaking with someone who's a beautiful soul who watched a documentary
about my ancestors and only remembered until after watching it our talk about my origins. She then began to tell me more about how inspired she felt about how despite all the life challenges they faced they still pushed forward and never gave up. Our conversation led to expressing how finding one's roots gives a form of liberation and sense of 'home' feeling. I of course last winter visited some locations which had very strong history and it was not of my ancestors but I could still feel the strong energy ties to it. I know once I visit my land this feeling will be even stronger of course. It is a blessing to have people who feel inspired by just knowing some of my story or even where I come from (from a cultural stand point) and of course see this in my own personality as well. I do wish to continue to look into my land and connections because so much of what I am becoming I feel is connected with that. I had for a while stopped searching for answers because it just no longer served me at the time. However, the universe was of course speaking by her randomly choosing this documentary to watch and not until the very end of it did she realize my connection to it (as we had not spoken in quite a while), and then her need to share it with me once she saw me again. She also suggested I take part in a sweat lodge as she has experienced it once and thinks it will profoundly shift me in a positive way as it has for her. 

Even when I was looking around on my walk in the dawn I noticed where the wind has been pointing, to the west, which is where the setting sun goes, showing that we are to release what is left of the old that does not serve us anymore. We did our massive release in the Full Moon in October, however now that we have been in this void we are continuing to notice feelings and emotions of things that have remained deep into us (that we may not even have been aware was still holding on). So as the wind will carry all that we no longer need what is just weighing us down let the wind carry it with the setting sun each day. 

I am also to share art work which I am now offering these are samples, yours will be similar in design however based on your energy they will be personalized specially for you. If any of these call to you and you wish one of your own. Email to let me know which resonates with you.

Taking Flight- Used to cleanse

Mysticism- Allows you to access more magic into your life
Protection- Offers protection to you and spaces 

Knowledge- Brings insight

Seed of life