Friday, May 22, 2015


Feel the magic. To transform past the old, anxiety may come but embrace it to move into the presence and to embrace the change. I have been having visions of my past visions. Of course with this comes reminders of the past too. Both can cause anxiety but I'm being shown to see the past how ever it pops up ... See it, acknowledge it and let it clear out. A funeral of sorts to release and erase, we've learned all we can from the past.

I'm amazed at how these visions have come into reality. When I get lost in the now I rememeber this and start to visualize or embrace visions and this is comforting. We can let go of negative things because we can on some level change our direction. You embrace and bring what your energy is. So to get positive things ... Keep your energy positive.

I'm working on updating the Padma Bella website. Also with adding more items to the store. I have had plenty of time to brainstorm and I feel it's getting time to relaunch.

Magic is everywhere and sometimes you just have to stop and look around.

Monday, April 27, 2015

Full Moon in Scorpio May 3, 2015

Preparing for the Scorpio Full Moon on Sunday, we are preparing for being intrigued with seduction and curiosity. Perhaps you have already noticed an admirer or you have been more curious than normal. You might have more energy in the love department so prepare prepare prepare. Even if you are not in a relationship you may just find that someone or at least make your list of things you'd like to find in a person. For those in relationships it's about to get even steamier. Jupiter is in Leo with a 90 degree square with the moon so things with your someone might get heated in arguments. Leo is the lovemaking energy while Scorpio is the jealousy type. Try to stay balanced with this energy. Know your partner this is not the time to start jealousy leak into a beautiful relationship ... let it pass. The Lunar energy is pushing us ... some relationships may end if you're not grounded. While the Lunar energy may also push us into finalized forever unions. Listen to your inner knowing. Where are you guided? Take the leap if you are sure. We are listening to our guides not our jealousy. Let the ego go and follow with faith that this is the right place you are meant to be.

Sleep if you need sleep ... the growing is happening. Feel rested when this Lunar energy comes at us this weekend. We are having a strong pull already to be watched, our actions even if they might feel fall on deaf ears they are being noticed. Perhaps in subtle ways you feel a presence around you. I had a dream of beings watching me they would not speak nor would they leave ... maybe you too have been experience this too in some form. It's not always negative it's not always positive, it can just be a reminder that we should remain mindful to stay alert on some level even in the dream world or meditation world. Beings are reaching out to us in this energy of the planets and moon. Listen to their message ... it came come in them speaking or feeling emotions or sensations. What are they wishing you to know? This week be kind to yourself and those around you, feel the relationships around you we all come together in this time of feeling separated and jealous. This too shall pass, we are stepping into realizing who is meant to follow us on the journey and those we are meant to leave behind. If the jealousy gets too overwhelming with justification (not poking around for evidence) release this relationship. Overall we are all stable (in any form we are heading into this Lunar energy). If you are in a relationship of balance and mutual give and take this too shall stay in tact. Manifest the things you wish to release in your life with the Full Moon energy. Any and all things that are still lingering ask the moon guide them away, burn sage, feel this strange energy release. Ask for the sage burning to cleanse and aid in the subtle energies you haven't been able to shake on your own. Above all have fun with life and have faith you will emerge even brighter.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Channing energy

Channeling energy!! I have been wishing to write but needed to find a new way to post. I am not able to always just sit like I use to and just write with no interruptions. Posts might be shorter or written over time, we will see. 

I channeled last night and the last few nights having symbolic dreams. Maybe you have felt the same energy? This morning I was guided to revisit my chakra series I did last year. Since I have felt unbalanced pushing me to look at my chakras. Ironically my focus on my chakras was about a couple months before my vision was seeded. It all shows when we are working on letting go to be balanced things can be coming together without us fully being aware.

Revisiting where I was about a year ago I had events moving along in motion. I was free and loved my life a year ago ... I remember the energy of that time. When I would be my freeiest for perhaps quite a while. Now I see why at the time living that way made me happy but I also felt out of control. This being because I would be settled down rooted down soon. 

I have gone through a lot in a year. i see how slowly carrying a being began to change me. I became less magical being and more grounded in this earth. My ability to channel dramatically lessened because I had to survive. Pregnancy is all about survival, getting through it. I see how tunneled I became and eventually shutting down even my writing because it was all too much to handle. 

I am thankful to have come out of this veil, this tunnel. I am seeing more now where to pick up from on now the otherside of life. 

So transform your life, look to what you want and live like you already have it. I am working on this it is a constant source of moving forward. 

If you feel unbalanced look to what areas it is in: physical injury, pain, emotional, ... All helpful markers to aid you in what chakras need more attention. Look at dreams and visions you are having this week and take notice of them. What messages are they trying to tell you?

Friday, April 17, 2015

Aries New Moon April 2015

New Moon in Aries April 18, 2015 (11:57am PT)/April 19, 2015 (2:57pm ET) brings about energy to keep going with courage in this new direction of our new beginning. Perhaps you have noticed like I have a fear about me ... I am looking into the past to figure out how to handle what is happening right now, until I realize that nothing in the past can compare to what is happening now. Why? Because the right now the here and now is brand new and nothing can control the course we are going to be heading into. Faith and trust is what the Universe is asking of us. We are moving forward but we don't know what this future holds.

When fear comes up or negativity comes up this is all ego. The ego that still exists is wanting to control what is happening. So a fear stirs along with negative thoughts that things are not going as "planned" but there is no plan that we can know about. When we let go of the wish and desire and energy to control what is happening right now we get lighter and less ego filled. This is why... because the ego wants to hold us down. It wants to compare things and events to the past. We can only exist in the right now because this is only certain this is the only thing you can control if you even wish to still use the word control.

I got bogged down by these terms: control, fear, anxiety, future ... the result of course a sore throat from not speaking truth. I have to realize that getting anxious, needing answers "NOW" instead of just letting it be, just flowing this is when ego sneaks into life. I cannot live from the past. Just because this equaled that in the past does not mean it's the same now. This is also how to get stuck in patterns if you allow ego to keep making you loop over and over again. I learned this happens if I do this in this situation ... you will probably start looping, until you realize and ask: why am I doing this? or why does this keep happening to me? It is because ego is leading and you are trying to live the now and the future with the past experiences and putting that old energy into the right now.

We need to point our self forward. This comes from asking what are you afraid of? List these things, speak these things, write these things ... release what you are afraid of but it comes from acknowledging all these fears. We have stepped ahead through the new now moment but we have to also let go and not bring the past and those fears. Nothing can go wrong because when there is no fear no ego then the word: "wrong" simply no longer exists. Having a wrong mentality makes you a victim and to leave this mindset you have to take power over yourself. This comes from just a switch turning on saying I'm going to change how I look at events around me. Even how you fit into these events. Nothing is happening to you, you are showing up and deciding to interact with everything that comes you way. Take charge of where you are headed, having strength to just flow with what comes your way. We have the opportunity to manifest our new adventures. It's about not thinking at all about the past no need to bring this energy with us. Leave the past there in the past. New adventures are here and it comes with the positive energy of the now. Trust what you feel.

I am letting go of what fears I have left in me. It's hard yes I realize that but being aware of when fear
and anxiety starts to creep in ... acknowledge it and push it away ... be proactive. Write it, burn it, speak it ... get this out of you. I am realizing if I don't change of course the past will repeat in some way because that becomes all I'm capable of. I want the new adventures. I want to be balanced and clear and rid of all this old vibes that took temporary residence. Brush it off and put a smile on. It's never too late to just re-start your mental thoughts, energy, actions and just everything. This Aries New Moon is when we bring the energies of the Spring Equinox with us. We plant the first seeds of this year! If you are unhappy with anything ... change it!! Move towards what you want. We've learned lessons from the past Libra Full Moon. We are on to the New! Plant what you wish to see in you. Happy New Adventures and New Moon energy!!

Wednesday, April 15, 2015


Beginnings. I have been away for quite a while. I wrote a draft and well it was not time to post. In my absence I have been on many many adventures and I have come out of the cocoon that was prepared for me. We all have times in our lives when we need to nurture ourselves, it's being able to realize and listen and act on it. I really wanted to document every step of my journey but this was my own personal one. I see why the stars did not wish me to. Now I do have a lot more understanding.

We are in the new season of Spring, I have walked through a portal that allowed me to leave the old me behind. I am no longer the same being that was birthed on this world. I have transformed, we are all capable of this, but it cannot be forced. We don't know the "when" it is. I had many visions leading up to this but couldn't see beyond the other side. Now I am on the other side. I have experienced all that my body was created for. It is very beautiful.

As a woman in this form I had experienced many symptoms ... of course we go through the motions of cycles ... of moon cycles, of hormones, of emotions, of sensations ... all this is just a glimpse. Of course for some women this is all you are wishing or are gifted to experience. We all have our own journey. I feel more alive after having birthed and experienced the glorious strength and power of my own body. The experience itself is unbelievably beautiful, I went down the rabbit hole meeting many different character beings. Each with their own gift and their own contribution to my journey. I am truly grateful for each and everyone of them. So although I will not be speaking about the details of my birth experience.

Now I see all my gifts of intuition are just an expansion of this birth. It wasn't just and isn't just the birth of a new being it's also the birth of a new you. Who I was before is not who I am now, I am still learning who this new person (I now am) is. I have a brand new body, I have new emotions, new sensations and new gifts that I am just now starting to see surface. It is being so hyper aware to be able to walk freely into this, of course it's natural to have fear to be weighed down by this even with anxiety of the change ... the change has already happened. I of course got a cold because I was not able to cope with this drastic change that has already happened. I felt unappreciated and did not know how to communicate my new needs. We do have to listen to our body when there is lack of balance when you feel ungrounded even our body has a way of telling us this, first it's really subtle and then it blows up into a full blown injury of illness if we have not listened to the quiet subtle hints.

It is what I had been told all along that I needed to find my voice, I see how incredibly important and how this follows this new body and new journey I am on. It is the only way. We are all on an adventure. Women are so incredibly beautiful in what we are able to accomplish, even when we are on autopilot our body just intuitively knows what to do. We have to let it flow and then all enjoy and energy flows with this. Now I feel how the maternal role I am to have in this life. I am to nurture and teach and help those who need a place held for them. It's the nurturing and being able to care for another that you realize how precious your own life is.

I have a star dust old soul who has chosen to enter my life. The moment I saw this in a vision years ago I at first didn't believe it, but it's so much more than my vision even shared. I am enjoying this new journey of awareness. A star being who's wished to enter this earth at this time, and reshaped by body. I realize how this also transforms my life. We have much to teach each other. We come from the stars and moving through this new place I get to experience life all over again. I am more in love than I ever thought possible. Everything is so much more than myself.

This society puts too much pressure and importance on having the "perfect" body for women especially. There really is no perfect, just as every story is unique so is the body this vessel for us.
After experiencing childbirth I see how perfect my body is because it was able to do everything I wished of it. The perfect comes in the imperfect. When you realize that this form is not just about appearance it's about what it's capable of doing you can move past this. Even if you are not capable of doing everything with your body because of some physical limitation you were born with ... it is simply in this life you were meant to learn something or try to overcome the limitation and not let it hold you behind. We are all capable of new life of transforming and moving into new lights and new beginnings. It's just a matter of when we are opening the door for ourself. Others have been holding space for us, all the pushing through has to be done by ourselves. Of course just like natural birth we may have a person holding our hand, people cheering us on, people with knowledge to guide us but ultimately we are the only one who can push into the new chapter to make change in us happen. As every mother knows their body is never going back exactly the way it was before childbirth, if you've had a natural child birth especially because you've pushed a being through. All the flowery literature that is written, is a coping means for when you are pregnant the only thing I clung to when I was pregnant was that my body would be how it was before. This was out of fear, but letting go all the pushing and expansion in physical form leads to spiritual expansion. All mothers realize your body is the vessel ... it is the passing through portal for a being to be created and nurtured and in this comes the perfection.

I remember a night of meteor showers ... a driving adventure to find a mountain top to see above the clouds to the sky to watch the shooting stars. This adventure was late at night, many miles were driven ... uncertainty if it would happen. Different stops along the mountain were had but the journey kept going higher up to reach a better view. Finally coming back down the mountain a wrong turn led to a clearing where it became a different world, a blanket of clouds covering the city below, and the stars above moved.

All the best things come when we let go of expectations and just allow the universe to unfold the events for us. When we let go, all things we've wished and dreamed of ... come to be.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Loss and Rebirth

Many changes and shifts have been happening leading up to the Gemini Full Moon last weekend. Now it's still working towards change ... personally I have noticed being tired some days and energetic the next. I have also been mindful of the past coming up. I have been trying to take it as gentle as possible. Yes we have all worked so hard on ourselves it may seem like taking a step backwards when all of a sudden a surge of emotions or memories from the past of this life in this human form comes stirring up. We just have to let it come. There may be some message or lesson we have overlooked or even it is time now for us to understand. Embrace whatever feelings and emotions are coming up.

Yesterday I had a breakdown, (one which was needed) I started crying the moment a past event was brought up. I realize I am more emotional than I have really ever been, but I embraced feelings of sadness. We often just push it away, we cry once or we talk it out once and feel better and think okay we're done with this, we have ascended we have moved on, or can move on now. This may very well be the case for many or some situations. It may also not be. It is as I have come to realize not that I have moved backwards, but this bit of sadness needs to come out, as I remember a life lost. 

We all grieve differently. It can be a death, a loss of a life, a loss of a dream, a career path, ... loss can come in many different forms. As I am in the process of a rebirth, this beautiful process I am also being shown back to the loss I have experienced. Rebirth comes with the loss of something or many somethings. For me it is the loss of a person ... remember the life ... thinking about the life that could have been. This person left this Earth plane suddenly ... yes it may seem like too soon, but at the same time this could have been the perfect time, a fully lived out life. It is not for us to know or judge. I of course have been thinking of losses and how we always seem to wish to have more time with something that is no longer here or with someone who is no longer here. Spiritually this individual is still here, I get visits in dreams or when I need guidance most. An angel of sorts. I questioned if I am not fully lost of this being why does the feeling of sadness come? It's because we have come here in to be in this human form to experience human emotions. More and more I remember lives I had on other planets, and these beings in my life now also came here for some experience. 

The Full Moon brought up even more emotions out of me. As I prepare to bring life into this world to this Earth. We must experience human emotions and situations because we are after all humans. However, we can ground ourselves so that these emotions don't overwhelm us. We have control of our own personal self and nothing else. This is liberating because the outside forces have no influence if we do not let it happen. Internally emotions come to us but we get to decide how we experience it. We can look at them positively or negatively. I still feel like I'm living a dream ... I'm seeing more and more the reason for all the loss before all the traveling before was for this now moment.

I received visions of this moment, and of course I was Aware and Awakened enough to listen to see ... at the time it made no sense I would bring life into this world. Situations and conditions when I was having these many visions almost seemed to contradict, where I and others were questioning how could these visions happen?? I didn't loose faith, I allowed events to unfold. I didn't force or try to manipulate events in order for these visions to happen. If you see a vision acknowledge it and let it pass and its the Universe will have it come to be when the time is right. Even if it seems so far off. Now I can only sit and laugh because here I am growing by the day ... the visions are here they are happening. 

When we get sidetracked by dramas of daily life take a breath, look at the bigger picture ... these look tiny in comparison. We are doing it, we are living the dream. We just have to stop making a big deal about the tiny insignificant stuff the mind wants to grasp onto. This is how we get to the rebirth ... is realizing we are above this insignificant ... now is the time when we see the unions happening with like minded beings. To be whimsical and pay attention to feelings, visions, sensations ... 

Friday, November 14, 2014

Return from Hiatus ... Inner Strength & Listening

Fairies on the path
I've been on a hiatus for quite some time. Many many things have happened. I realized my journey through this would be on my own ... I needed to take some time out for myself. We all have to.

Many different messages have come to me, as perhaps many messages have come to you as well. It's acknowledging and giving in to the ability to listen ... in whatever form this comes to you. Listening to an actual voice, your inner knowing, your intuition, your gut, another worldly being, ... listening comes

in so many forms. It can be in silence when the most is said, the most is given, the most is transferred.

In the stillness is when we listen, this is with ease.

There comes a point when I realized I had to stop going by where planets were positioned, what sign the moon was in ... it's all extremely helpful, yes, but I had to just feel and listen ... this was my calling. To just close my eyes and listen. To just float around this world and feel. For me, my intuition and inner knowing has been through "feelings" ... lately I have been feeling much going on ... and also being called back to share words with all of you.

I could recap all the adventures I've had but it all is just being in the present moment. I was told something which really made me wish to draw me back here to all of you ... I was told that I have a good imagination, I am very intuitive but I have to also balance the other areas of my life. This person of course did not say to be mean or discredit any of my abilities. It's all about how you take words that are given to you. I do agree I have a big imagination. However, my life is not simply imagination. Perhaps you have experienced some of your wishes or manifests or visions coming true.

I have guided many of you in full moon and new moon rituals. After a while you may feel stuck, this is another reason why I left on my hiatus so that we could all have adventures on our own to not be dependent on any one person or one idea.

I feel sharing this news provides that we are all capable of fulfilling our desires, our visions aren't just imagination. I had a vision over a year ago of being pregnant under a tree ... I had visions of giving birth various deities showed me to. Part of what also lead me to my hiatus was when I found out I am carrying a little star dust. Of course with my awakened transformation happening, my body also physically changing. I have had many people ask me how do you know your visions or what you "see" will come to be. Here is my response to that. I had visions of standing under a tree being pregnant. This visual of me being pregnant came to me at different times, in different ways over the course of months and years. None of it made sense to me at the time. My main thought was I'm not getting pregnant "right now" why am I having these visions? Just because it wasn't happening right that same second or soon after I was having the visions I questioned did they represent something else? The birthing of an idea not a being? Similar to what I have heard and observed with some of you, with whatever your visions have been leading you to ... if they have yet to happen. Don't dismiss them away or your gifts.

Once I accepted all my visions in all their forms ... I released them ... I accepted that it may happen or may not happen ... I became content with that. In some life this happens. I'm here on this earth at this exact moment for a purpose (we don't always know what this purpose is right away) but it does come. So once I let go of needing to understand what this "pregnancy meant" a month later, conception happened.

I wish to share this because I had visions of my family ... and it's happening. We just have to let go of the control. I am blessed at my life. I am living a dream. It's all there for all of us to experience. If you don't like a part of your life, change it.

It's easy to get caught up in bills and money and drama. Take a step back. I've been experiencing bliss. I've been experiencing a surge of emotions, and it's been helpful acknowledging them. I see when I've been getting worked up (as well all do) ... we are in human form and sometimes you just have to allow yourself to feel everything. If you have a bad day embrace the bad day. I recently started feeling anxious (which I haven't experienced in so long) I knew the root cause. In the grand scheme of things bills from this society mean nothing. Yes we have to function in society. But we are star beings. We have over come so much. It's like breathe it in and let it go. Of course it's looking at how you can pull together to get through something. Having anyone to talk to is so helpful, even if they have no way to relate to what you are going through. This is something I have found ... in this transformation of becoming literally two beings in one ... I see things differently.

I felt crazy for a while ... I have become a "we" I am two life forms right now. Of course double the
emotions and hormones. It's really all about the mind. We have control over how the mind reacts. If we give it power to repeat the same thoughts over and over again ... the mind mostly wants to repeat the negative to us to fuel the ego's expansion. If we allow the mind to run through what it wishes to: once ... then you hear it, and once, the moment you hear it start to repeat over and over looping the same thoughts over, you shut it down, you quiet, you silence the mind ... you gain control over it. Yes this takes practice. I have focused on breath to do this or movement, techniques of whatever works best for you. However then you can listen to your intuition which is very different from the voice of the mind.

So for me I had this thought of bills running in my head over and over ... noticing how other external influences were fueling this idea of needing to save money, how expensive babies are ... and overcoming this is, bliss. Realizing what material things do we all really need? I am blissfully happy with my life and who is in my life, and this is really all I need. We have a network, we are a network of intuitive beings who are capable of so much ... yet the mind and this society and ego wishes to keep us tied down to earthly things of money and bills and expenses when everything is free!

Fights happen based on things, when we live from the heart, happiness happens. If you are living in your truth in your heart, and loving who and where you are ... it's really hard to have a fight, is it not? The ego and mind wants us to fight because then it stays in control. The emotions and hormones we experience can also feed into this because it can go either into happiness or fear. We have the deciding factor which way it goes.

We are all so strong. We can't forget our strength. I think sometimes when we are feeling down or
like the world is crushing us with expenses, jobs, relationships not working, fights, money, bills, etc ... it's easy to feel weak to want to throw your hands up and say "take it" "I give up" ... but it's actually easier to just stand up to it. On one of my adventures I traveled across a channel in a storm on a tiny motor boat ... the boat stalled twice ... the waves were rocking the boat all over, I wasn't afraid of dying ... but being pregnant in a rocking boat, not the best sensations to have. I focused on my breath, tried to stay relaxed, of course not fully panic. In that moment, I realized I could do anything. Considering I've never sought out sailing or being on boats. Each time the boat did start I felt relief. The final time it stayed working I realized how strong I actually am, I didn't get sick, didn't loose it, and I conquered a fear. So when you find yourself in a stuck in a boat not going anywhere but being tossed by the waves look to your inner strength, what is your constant? You realize you are your own constant, you are everything you ever need. All the strength is already in you. Everything is possible. Once you listen.